Sounds more like a play than your dream wedding, doesn't it? Kind of makes you feel like...
So what do you do? Some brides love the big production and feel like it has to be part of the experience to make it complete. Every wedding is different because every couple is different and we all have various ideas of what a wedding should actually entail.
I realized that I felt like that poor fin slapping, ball bouncing seal only about a month into the engagement. People were asking so many questions! "Where are you getting married?" "Are you using a church?" "Who's in your bridal party?" "What color are the bridesmaid dresses going to be?" "Have you found a dress yet?" This pretty much led to:
The pressure had begun. Pressure from friends, family, and coworkers to begin looking at every detail no matter how big or small. Pressure to feel like this process was coming naturally to me as opposed to showing the confusion and stress that I was really feeling. Pressure to put on a performance that they would all enjoy.
I started looking for different locations for the ceremony. At this point, I had already been out to New York for my face-to-face job interview, so my fiance and I both understood that moving over 700 miles away from home could be a reality within the next month or two. Since all of our friends and family would still be in Indiana, I decided it was best to have the wedding there. I didn't want any of our loved ones to feel obligated to travel.
At this point, researching was just beginning and let me tell you it was going terribly. One of the area hotels wanted $10,000 JUST for the reception... and the space wasn't even impressive! A small venue wanted over $9,000 for the reception due to the fact that it was waterfront. Well, let me tell YOU something- their idea of waterfront is atrocious there.. the river is gross and brown and I wouldn't be surprised if Jimmy Hoffa was down there somewhere.
After all the dissapointment with the reception venues, I decided to focus on the ceremony. We didn't want to go the church route since neither of us have set foot in one without being forced to in YEARS (no disrespect meant). Now we had limited ourselves to country clubs or the japanese garden that everyone who is trying to be non-traditional books. I loathed the idea of conforming to the norm that has become the japanese garden wedding in that city... I mean, a majority of people I knew had been married there or at least used the place for their photo session.
So:
OR
LEADS TO...
THAT FUZZY DISCONNECT FEELING... AND ARGUMENTS GALORE
That's right ladies... let's face it, our guys don't think weddings should cost more than a kegger. In fact, they WISH you were just throwing a kegger instead. Overloading them with the possibility of dropping LARGE wads of cash all at once is FRUSTRATING to them... it makes them stress out and even lash at you. Then, of course, we become defensive because this day is important and they need to understand that making it memorable doesn't come cheap... right?
WRONG! It CAN come cheap. This is where that sneaky little word compromise comes into play.
There were several factors that led me to the ultimate decision I made, but the arguments over the cost from him and the reluctance from me to sacrifice a memorable moment were the final straw. SOMETHING had to give, and fast!
As bad as this may sound, my brain finally kicked in and it was screaming, "STOP DOING THIS TO PLEASE EVERYONE AROUND YOU!!! IT'S NOT ABOUT THEM!!!"
As much as you would love your friends and family to be there surrounding you with their blessings and praise for the beautiful day, only 2 people in the whole scenario truly matter... the Bride and the Groom. Evvery couple is different and the idea of the traditional ceremony is becoming extinct. Being roped into throwing the "normal" wedding that brides have thrown for decades is a nightmare for most now.
What my fiance and I have decided is that we will have the wedding in a centralized location (6 hours from us and 6 hours from most of our family)... and that location just happens to be...
NIAGARA FALLS!!!!! How did we get so incredibly lucky!?
Our wedding day will be beautiful, memorable, and unique to us (even though more couples are going with destination weddings, and Niagara is a popular spot).
Not only are we going to have an amazing ceremony, we are getting one whale of a deal on cost!
So, $500 for the wedding package includes:
Ceremony at Falls location of choice (we went with the brink)
The officiant for the ceremony
A photographer (who does BEAUTIFUL work) and the CD of your photos
The Bouquet and Boutonniere
PLUS a back-up chapel for the ceremony in case the weather doesn't cooperate
SUCK ON THAT TRADITIONAL WEDDING COSTS!
After the ceremony our entire wedding party will have a relaxed dinner at a restaurant of our choice.
Then, we will return to the spot we got married to watch the Fireworks over the Falls!
Hello fairy tale moments!
So, before you get discouraged and feel like you are doomed to live out what others think your wedding should be, you should look into some different avenues! Find a place that you and your fiance both agree is the perfect setting in YOUR eyes. Live your fairy tale, becuase at the end of this whole crazy process the only people who are going to remember every detail forever will be you and the lucky guy who won your heart.
